( this boy answers more questions with what he chooses not to say than what he does. what trauma he has experienced has given him cause to expect and accept death. but, like a vampire clawing its way out of bloody ground, he will not die until he fulfills his purpose.
only two things can push a human to those limits — vengeance, or love. worst of all is both entwined. he knows, both have lived in him. there were days he stood above appius with a stake.
godric turns back to face him. studies him a moment. the scar, the stance, the way he all but seems to be drowning in his own demons. is it that he is resentful for all that godric is, or can do? humans are often so with vampires. they are envious of the youth, the beauty, the power, the strength, but never do they think of what it means to be unchanging. to know that your own survival comes at the cost of others. to be a vampire is to accept selfishness and hedonism are the only traits you will ever have, and take them to be virtues.
he does not think like a vampire any more. a vampire would laugh at this sad husk of a man. would perhaps give him the death he seeks, regardless of his mission. godric knows better, and decides to offer him something else. a vulnerability. )
Just before arriving here, I had stood on a rooftop much like this one, and chose to meet the sun. It is death, to a vampire of my years. I welcomed it.
( he remembers the burn. closing his eyes to accept it. his last thoughts were not for eric or nora but for his very human parents, two thousand years dead, whose names he could not recall but whose faces were forever in his memory. and then he was here. )
[ Sharkface drops his hands, shifting uneasily. The cold is beginning to work its way into his joints again, slowing him down. Settling in alongside all the pins and metal plates that are holding him together. Medics always said he was lucky, one of maybe five survivors who'd walked out of that building. A direct missile strike, and one hundred and ten stories of metal and glass cashing down on his head. Maybe five survivors. Barrows had been one of the others. Lost his arm, cleaved off at the shoulder, but he'd survived and armored back up in time to die with the others. That had been a kindness, Sharkface knows now. To die fighting. Barrows never had to see the aftermath. Never saw what it did to Hunter, or to him.
Breathe, little brother.
He twitches. Lays his hands flat at his side and holds perfectly still. Standing at attention, just like he'd been taught. He didn't want to know that about Godric. He doesn't want to understand these people here, or know what's hurt them. All he needs to do is endure this place, wait it out and drag himself back home to finish what he started.
It's simple, or at least it ought to be. But he keeps getting caught on things. On these people. And now Godric's staring at him, unblinking and eerily still, and Sharkface wants to hit him or maybe just bolt, get out of this situation.
[ Balancing the scales. Right. Sharkface tips his head back and counts to ten. Exhales.
Okay. ]
What're you planning to do here, in this city?
[ This is potentially a very stupid idea. But if he means to get home, he needs resources. Allies. Godric can't be one of those. He's too powerful. There'd be no balance. But people like that always have plans, and plans need people to execute them.
( he thinks he is possibly too old to care to turn his hand to some new scheme in some new place. and yet. this is the most invigorated he's felt in centuries. he cannot say what tomorrow will bring. )
[ He stiffens at that. Probably takes too long before speaking, mulling over whether he should like to the goddamn vampire or not. ]
Ephemera.
[ It's only a half-lie. An acceptable one. There have to be lines. And who knows what Godric would make of the thing he calls himself in his head? Because only a crazy person would do that, or someone who doesn't want to be a person anymore, and that can't get out. That has to be stay buried. ]
( he makes a soft sound, sort of a hm, and then turns back to the horizon. the sun is just now beginning to come up above the distant mountains. he knows it holds very little danger to him anymore, though it does burn, it does not seem to kill. )
Would you like to watch the sunrise with me, Mr. Ephemera? It does not have the same effect, here as home for me.
[ Sharkface watches Godric for a long moment, wondering. Not too long ago, Godric told him about standing on a rooftop like the sone and waiting to die. Sharkface has seen the movies, knows the myth about sunlight. And yet here they are. They know things about each other, now, and there's no going back from that. ]
Some would find it to be physically uncomfortable.
( but then, pain means nothing to him. it was the way of his world. enduring it costs him nothing. )
What damage I take mends well enough.
( and even then, were it tenfold what it is, it is a price he would pay after two thousand years in darkness. his people held the sun in high regard. his mother was dedicated to brigantia. he has missed it, and for all that he mislikes being here he does appreciate that this place has... given him back the sun, more than he had ever thought possible. )
[ Pain's one of those things that can be ignored, if you've got enough motivation. Sharkface hums to himself, nodding just once. ]
Yeah. All right.
[ Must be nice to be able to heal the damage. And there's a bit of resentment there, the fact that another person can face pain knowing it couldn't possibly matter, but he swallows that down. He missed the sunrise when he was on the Tartarus and hadn't really had a chance to sit and watch it come when he'd been fighting on Chorus. Too many other things to do.
It might be nice, just to take a minute. Remember the color for later. He could paint it, if he wanted. ]
( he says nothing further. just stands, still and silent like a stone monument as the first rays of dawnlight extend their clever, silvered fingers out like grasping hands. the sky is vivid, chiaroscuro, bold reds and blushing pinks that extend into violet the closer it gets to the black of what darkness remains. the sun is warm and cold all at once, prickling his skin where it hits. but for all that there is pain, he does not burn.
it is still a wondrous thing, to see. he watches for a rather long time, until he is satisfied, and turns away.
he does look to be somewhat sunburnt, skin reddened and blistered in places, but he seems unbothered by what discomfort this ought cause. )
[ Sharkface keeps his distance and doesn't particularly care what Godric makes of that. Let him see it as respect, deference, whatever. Just so long as it doesn't look like fear. Everything else is noise. And he watches Godric carefully as the sun comes up, trying to mark any signs of pain, but the vampire is as stoic as ever. A complete nothing on his face even his skin starts to redden and blister.
If there's pain, it's the kind that's easily hidden.
Sharkface says nothing. Just watches.
It's a beautiful sunrise, as things things go. ]
Remember what I said.
[ They understand something about each other now. That's probably a mistake, but there's no changing it. The least Sharkface can do is try and get something out of the experience. His mission stands. This could get him one step closer to seeing it through, if he's careful. ]
[ Once Godric figures out whatever the fuck it is he wants to do. It's a dangerous gamble, but Sharkface has made worse and has very little left to lose. There was a time the thought of allying with someone just for the power would have gotten him angry and righteous, but the old version of him was idealistic. Naive. He'd trusted too easy and look where that had gotten him. Redemption printed in black across his chest and memories of dead kids. And then, later, the aftermath.
The mission stands. That's the only thing that matters now. Godric's got power. Could take more if he's inclined. Someone like that could be worth signing up with. Doesn't matter what it does to him, so long as it gets him one step closer to finding Washington, to taking Carolina's head off. ]
( that one. godric looks down at his hand, scorched by the dawn but already healing. )
What use do you expect me to have of you?
( humans have their own ideas about vampires. godric may take some form of action in this city, to an end of his choosing, but he is very old, and very tired of leadership in that way. doing something because one is good at it is not the same as doing it because it sings in your blood. ephemera is quick, brutal, violent, good at his job, he says, which seems to have been soldiering in one form or another. the job, undoubtedly, is killing. fighting. intimidation. perhaps some small skill with subterfuge or spycraft but there is nothing he offers that godric cannot himself do better and more efficiently.
yet he craves so desperately to be useful to someone possessed of power. it says much of the psyche he is so staunch in defending. )
[ It's probably the wrong tone to take. Too flat, not respectful enough. Sharkface knows what he is. He used to have ideals and now he doesn't. Trained as a soldier but took a wide turn before retiring in the usual way. And now he clears resistance out of the same outer colony planets he used to protect. He did that in exchange for armor and a shot at the people he hates. It's simple, in the end.
There's always a use for people like him. Fact of the universe. ]
I can shoot, I can fight anyone you throw at me. Fly a dropship in combat conditions. Modify armor. Survive in zero gravity.
[ It's matter of fact. Running down a checklist. Not the first time he's made the pitch. ]
Fought the Covenant, too. [ He inclines his head slightly. ] You said you're old. I believe it. But I doubt you've ever seen anything like them.
( godric begins to walk towards the door down into the confines of the building. the sun is warm across his shoulders. he does not respond right away — it isn't a point of cruelty with him, he simply does not have a very human understanding of time and the beats of conversation. once they're both inside, and his eyes adjust to the dark, )
I will be honest with you, Mr. Ephemera, I have very little interest in any of that.
( it hardly matters who he's fought. that he survived them, this 'covenant' means nothing. a vampire would not have left him standing, even scarred. )
What is it you want of me, that you would offer yourself so?
[ For a moment, he's fairly certain that's a dismissal. Only instead of getting chewed out, Godric's just turning away. Going back inside, like that's it. And maybe Godric has seen things like the Covenant, or even worse then them. Two thousand years is long time to sit with life, and all the ways people find to kill each other. Maybe the idea of planet killers isn't even a strange one.
Sharkface thins his mouth. The question is telling in a way he doesn't like. The phrasing. Offering yourself. ]
People like you have a way of getting power.
[ He stands perfectly straight, eyes ahead. Standing at attention. Remembering a drill instructor who shot him in the chest once. Point blank into his armor. Bullet didn't kill him but it hurt like nothing else. He'd been a teenager then. Hadn't known what it was to really hurt. But that had been the lesson. That he could survive it. That he could take the blow and stand right back up.
Get the mission done. That's the only thing that matters. ]
I need to get back home. You get power, you'd be the first to know how that works.
And suppose that is true, and I accrue power enough here to do as you've suggested. What makes you think I wouldn't offer that way home freely, without condition?
( if people want to return to their homes, he would of course do whatever he could to assist. he does not need recompense for that, it is a matter of doing what is right. it is more human to help than it is vampire. )
I have lived long enough that I would argue that, I'm afraid.
( he has seen it. time and time and time again. sookie was just the latest in a long line of humans he paid very little mind to. it is simply not in the nature of vampires, yet he is hardly one of those any more. )
[ It's a lie. A trick, some line to get people to fall in. Sharkface can't imagine it being anything else. There were only seven he's met in the entire universe who were good. Eight, maybe, if he counts Connie among them. It's easier to narrow everything into two camps. His people on one side, everyone else on the other. And now they're gone, torn to fucking pieces for Freelancer's private war.
People are monsters. He loses that sometimes, he slips up and forgets, but there's only one way this ends.
Sharkface holds perfectly still. Doesn't snarl out a retort, doesn't clench up his hands. He imagines smashing Washington's head into the ground, watching the armor crack and give, and that helps a little. Gives him something to focus on. ]
Maybe you have.
[ Liar, he thinks, viciously. You fucking liar. ]
There's still somebody here who took you down. Got you on a table and cut into your skull like everyone else. You really think it'll be that easy?
[ Godric's probably the strongest fucker he's ever met, in armor or otherwise. But he's still got an implant like the rest of them. Somebody made that happen. If appealing to power won't work, Sharkface decides to go for brutal pragmatism. There's always an enemy that needs to be eliminated. Strength in numbers. ]
( it's interesting to see what sets off this boy's rage. godric can see it seething in him, crawling beneath his skin like maggots in a corpse. a thousand years ago, he might have thought this one would make a good vampire. now, he believes he'd be a very poor one.
godric steps in close to him. tilts his head back to meet his gaze. most cannot bear the proximity, he thinks this one will stand stock still on the strength of his spite. )
You wish to ally with me because you perceive me to be strong. You hope that I will rally against this place and so, you have it in your head you can use me for your own ends if only you offer enough to me to appeal.
( it is... small. his own people used to offer sacrifices to gods that did not hear them. in that same soft, accented voice, he continues, )
I have killed thousands of your kind for nothing else but boredom. Slaughtered armies because I felt it to be my birthright to express the superiority of my kind. Women, children, warriors, I treated your species as a human might an ant, snuffing out lives beneath my heel. I have been monstrous. It is a choice of mine, to be otherwise these days. Please do not mistake me for one who can be manipulated, or pushed. If I tell you that I would expect nothing in return for rendering assistance, I would prefer you trust to that. Whether it will be easy or not is irrelevant. Should there be a cost, I will bear it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
cw for suicidal ideation
Date: 2020-01-14 04:49 pm (UTC)only two things can push a human to those limits — vengeance, or love. worst of all is both entwined. he knows, both have lived in him. there were days he stood above appius with a stake.
godric turns back to face him. studies him a moment. the scar, the stance, the way he all but seems to be drowning in his own demons. is it that he is resentful for all that godric is, or can do? humans are often so with vampires. they are envious of the youth, the beauty, the power, the strength, but never do they think of what it means to be unchanging. to know that your own survival comes at the cost of others. to be a vampire is to accept selfishness and hedonism are the only traits you will ever have, and take them to be virtues.
he does not think like a vampire any more. a vampire would laugh at this sad husk of a man. would perhaps give him the death he seeks, regardless of his mission. godric knows better, and decides to offer him something else. a vulnerability. )
Just before arriving here, I had stood on a rooftop much like this one, and chose to meet the sun. It is death, to a vampire of my years. I welcomed it.
( he remembers the burn. closing his eyes to accept it. his last thoughts were not for eric or nora but for his very human parents, two thousand years dead, whose names he could not recall but whose faces were forever in his memory. and then he was here. )
I am not your enemy.
no subject
Date: 2020-01-14 05:13 pm (UTC)[ Sharkface drops his hands, shifting uneasily. The cold is beginning to work its way into his joints again, slowing him down. Settling in alongside all the pins and metal plates that are holding him together. Medics always said he was lucky, one of maybe five survivors who'd walked out of that building. A direct missile strike, and one hundred and ten stories of metal and glass cashing down on his head. Maybe five survivors. Barrows had been one of the others. Lost his arm, cleaved off at the shoulder, but he'd survived and armored back up in time to die with the others. That had been a kindness, Sharkface knows now. To die fighting. Barrows never had to see the aftermath. Never saw what it did to Hunter, or to him.
Breathe, little brother.
He twitches. Lays his hands flat at his side and holds perfectly still. Standing at attention, just like he'd been taught. He didn't want to know that about Godric. He doesn't want to understand these people here, or know what's hurt them. All he needs to do is endure this place, wait it out and drag himself back home to finish what he started.
It's simple, or at least it ought to be. But he keeps getting caught on things. On these people. And now Godric's staring at him, unblinking and eerily still, and Sharkface wants to hit him or maybe just bolt, get out of this situation.
He doesn't. He holds. ]
The fuck am I supposed to do what that?
no subject
Date: 2020-01-14 05:16 pm (UTC)( he shrugs. it's one of the very rare, very human gestures he performs that makes him look all of his sixteen years. )
Do what you will with it.
no subject
Date: 2020-01-14 05:31 pm (UTC)Okay. ]
What're you planning to do here, in this city?
[ This is potentially a very stupid idea. But if he means to get home, he needs resources. Allies. Godric can't be one of those. He's too powerful. There'd be no balance. But people like that always have plans, and plans need people to execute them.
So. Why the fuck not? ]
no subject
Date: 2020-01-14 05:40 pm (UTC)( he thinks he is possibly too old to care to turn his hand to some new scheme in some new place. and yet. this is the most invigorated he's felt in centuries. he cannot say what tomorrow will bring. )
There is much to learn before I act.
no subject
Date: 2020-01-14 05:46 pm (UTC)[ He keeps his voice as even as possible. Tries to show nothing on his face. Maybe it's too late for that. ]
I could be useful to you.
no subject
Date: 2020-01-14 05:48 pm (UTC)It may be difficult to reach you, seeing as how you have not given me your name.
no subject
Date: 2020-01-14 05:56 pm (UTC)Ephemera.
[ It's only a half-lie. An acceptable one. There have to be lines. And who knows what Godric would make of the thing he calls himself in his head? Because only a crazy person would do that, or someone who doesn't want to be a person anymore, and that can't get out. That has to be stay buried. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-01-14 06:51 pm (UTC)Would you like to watch the sunrise with me, Mr. Ephemera? It does not have the same effect, here as home for me.
no subject
Date: 2020-01-14 07:10 pm (UTC)Doesn't that hurt?
[ He doesn't say no, though.
no subject
Date: 2020-01-14 11:11 pm (UTC)( but then, pain means nothing to him. it was the way of his world. enduring it costs him nothing. )
What damage I take mends well enough.
( and even then, were it tenfold what it is, it is a price he would pay after two thousand years in darkness. his people held the sun in high regard. his mother was dedicated to brigantia. he has missed it, and for all that he mislikes being here he does appreciate that this place has... given him back the sun, more than he had ever thought possible. )
no subject
Date: 2020-01-14 11:46 pm (UTC)Yeah. All right.
[ Must be nice to be able to heal the damage. And there's a bit of resentment there, the fact that another person can face pain knowing it couldn't possibly matter, but he swallows that down. He missed the sunrise when he was on the Tartarus and hadn't really had a chance to sit and watch it come when he'd been fighting on Chorus. Too many other things to do.
It might be nice, just to take a minute. Remember the color for later. He could paint it, if he wanted. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-01-15 01:09 am (UTC)it is still a wondrous thing, to see. he watches for a rather long time, until he is satisfied, and turns away.
he does look to be somewhat sunburnt, skin reddened and blistered in places, but he seems unbothered by what discomfort this ought cause. )
Thank you for the company.
no subject
Date: 2020-01-15 01:17 am (UTC)If there's pain, it's the kind that's easily hidden.
Sharkface says nothing. Just watches.
It's a beautiful sunrise, as things things go. ]
Remember what I said.
[ They understand something about each other now. That's probably a mistake, but there's no changing it. The least Sharkface can do is try and get something out of the experience. His mission stands. This could get him one step closer to seeing it through, if he's careful. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-01-18 12:14 am (UTC)Which part?
( they've discussed much. it's difficult to imagine what the human might have wished to focus on. )
no subject
Date: 2020-01-18 12:33 am (UTC)[ Once Godric figures out whatever the fuck it is he wants to do. It's a dangerous gamble, but Sharkface has made worse and has very little left to lose. There was a time the thought of allying with someone just for the power would have gotten him angry and righteous, but the old version of him was idealistic. Naive. He'd trusted too easy and look where that had gotten him. Redemption printed in black across his chest and memories of dead kids. And then, later, the aftermath.
The mission stands. That's the only thing that matters now. Godric's got power. Could take more if he's inclined. Someone like that could be worth signing up with. Doesn't matter what it does to him, so long as it gets him one step closer to finding Washington, to taking Carolina's head off. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-01-18 12:50 am (UTC)What use do you expect me to have of you?
( humans have their own ideas about vampires. godric may take some form of action in this city, to an end of his choosing, but he is very old, and very tired of leadership in that way. doing something because one is good at it is not the same as doing it because it sings in your blood. ephemera is quick, brutal, violent, good at his job, he says, which seems to have been soldiering in one form or another. the job, undoubtedly, is killing. fighting. intimidation. perhaps some small skill with subterfuge or spycraft but there is nothing he offers that godric cannot himself do better and more efficiently.
yet he craves so desperately to be useful to someone possessed of power. it says much of the psyche he is so staunch in defending. )
no subject
Date: 2020-01-18 01:06 am (UTC)[ It's probably the wrong tone to take. Too flat, not respectful enough. Sharkface knows what he is. He used to have ideals and now he doesn't. Trained as a soldier but took a wide turn before retiring in the usual way. And now he clears resistance out of the same outer colony planets he used to protect. He did that in exchange for armor and a shot at the people he hates. It's simple, in the end.
There's always a use for people like him. Fact of the universe. ]
I can shoot, I can fight anyone you throw at me. Fly a dropship in combat conditions. Modify armor. Survive in zero gravity.
[ It's matter of fact. Running down a checklist. Not the first time he's made the pitch. ]
Fought the Covenant, too. [ He inclines his head slightly. ] You said you're old. I believe it. But I doubt you've ever seen anything like them.
no subject
Date: 2020-01-18 04:38 am (UTC)I will be honest with you, Mr. Ephemera, I have very little interest in any of that.
( it hardly matters who he's fought. that he survived them, this 'covenant' means nothing. a vampire would not have left him standing, even scarred. )
What is it you want of me, that you would offer yourself so?
no subject
Date: 2020-01-18 04:51 am (UTC)Sharkface thins his mouth. The question is telling in a way he doesn't like. The phrasing. Offering yourself. ]
People like you have a way of getting power.
[ He stands perfectly straight, eyes ahead. Standing at attention. Remembering a drill instructor who shot him in the chest once. Point blank into his armor. Bullet didn't kill him but it hurt like nothing else. He'd been a teenager then. Hadn't known what it was to really hurt. But that had been the lesson. That he could survive it. That he could take the blow and stand right back up.
Get the mission done. That's the only thing that matters. ]
I need to get back home. You get power, you'd be the first to know how that works.
no subject
Date: 2020-01-18 04:54 am (UTC)( if people want to return to their homes, he would of course do whatever he could to assist. he does not need recompense for that, it is a matter of doing what is right. it is more human to help than it is vampire. )
no subject
Date: 2020-01-18 04:59 am (UTC)Nobody does a goddamn thing for free
no subject
Date: 2020-01-18 05:03 am (UTC)I have lived long enough that I would argue that, I'm afraid.
( he has seen it. time and time and time again. sookie was just the latest in a long line of humans he paid very little mind to. it is simply not in the nature of vampires, yet he is hardly one of those any more. )
no subject
Date: 2020-01-18 02:46 pm (UTC)People are monsters. He loses that sometimes, he slips up and forgets, but there's only one way this ends.
Sharkface holds perfectly still. Doesn't snarl out a retort, doesn't clench up his hands. He imagines smashing Washington's head into the ground, watching the armor crack and give, and that helps a little. Gives him something to focus on. ]
Maybe you have.
[ Liar, he thinks, viciously. You fucking liar. ]
There's still somebody here who took you down. Got you on a table and cut into your skull like everyone else. You really think it'll be that easy?
[ Godric's probably the strongest fucker he's ever met, in armor or otherwise. But he's still got an implant like the rest of them. Somebody made that happen. If appealing to power won't work, Sharkface decides to go for brutal pragmatism. There's always an enemy that needs to be eliminated. Strength in numbers. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-01-18 03:31 pm (UTC)godric steps in close to him. tilts his head back to meet his gaze. most cannot bear the proximity, he thinks this one will stand stock still on the strength of his spite. )
You wish to ally with me because you perceive me to be strong. You hope that I will rally against this place and so, you have it in your head you can use me for your own ends if only you offer enough to me to appeal.
( it is... small. his own people used to offer sacrifices to gods that did not hear them. in that same soft, accented voice, he continues, )
I have killed thousands of your kind for nothing else but boredom. Slaughtered armies because I felt it to be my birthright to express the superiority of my kind. Women, children, warriors, I treated your species as a human might an ant, snuffing out lives beneath my heel. I have been monstrous. It is a choice of mine, to be otherwise these days. Please do not mistake me for one who can be manipulated, or pushed. If I tell you that I would expect nothing in return for rendering assistance, I would prefer you trust to that. Whether it will be easy or not is irrelevant. Should there be a cost, I will bear it.
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